Dealing With Difficult People/Managing Conflict
Why Try and Deal With Difficult People?
Discussing how to deal with difficult is always problematic. The reason for this is that how ever much we might feel we are dealing with a difficult person, they are probably thinking the same thing as well. For a manager this is a killer situation to be with.
Admitting that you may have a part to play in why someone is difficult to work with is an important step in conflict management. To get to this stage requires maturity and a willingness to admit that you may not be right but that you are prepared to change something to resolve the issues.
Working with some one who is deemed difficult therefore requires emotional intelligence. The ability to reflect on how difficulties with the person start, what triggers the person into becoming awkward. This in itself can be so hard to do that you may need the help of another person to act as mentor and coach to help you face the issues that you have in order to make the changes required.
Before we go much further let me just state that the world does contain some difficult people; people who like to be awkward in any circumstances. People like this are possibly the most difficult to deal with as how ever they are approached and however much emotional intelligence you approach them with they will remain awkward and difficult to deal with.
In such circumstances the way to deal with these people may be to accept their characteristics. This can be less irksome if the person is particularly good at their job. Their awkwardness may then be viewed as a (perhaps not so) charming idiosyncrasy. To do this does require a pretty firm grasp on your own feelings but if the value of the persons input is high enough, this may not be a problem.
If the difficult person is themselves emotionally intelligent some straight and firm talking may also do the trick. This may even lead to a change in the relationship and many of the difficult elements may be avoided by mutual respect.
Let us return, though, to the most difficult type of difficult person; The one we make difficult. The hardest part of this dynamic, as stated above, is the personal ability to reflect and admit that you contribute to the situation.
Your contribution may only be that you walk on the earth and breath but it is still a contribution that in the workplace must be overcome. It may be that the problem is some small characteristic or method of approach that grates.
That ever the issue is the method of approach is the same. Key to overcoming the problem is communication. It is vital to maintain communications with some one you find difficult. It is natural to stop speaking to or referring to a person you find awkward.
Maintaining communications is not only the key to improving general relations but it may be the key to unlocking your ability to dissipate many of the problems the difficult person see in you. Being aware of your approach, your body language, checking if the conversation is at a convenient moment for the difficult person can go along way to improve the relationship at a pretty fundamental level.
Dealing with difficult people can bring into play all your own concerns and feelings about what it means to be a manager. The course is designed to help you step back from any people you may have issues with and think about their and your approaches. It will give you tools to help you understand yourself better and be better able to deal with difficult people at all levels.